Denpachu's nonsensical rambling
"The electromagnetic waves made me do it!!"
12/17/2020 6:52 PM
I really need to do something about my Internet Addiction, but I had it even when I was in college. Now there's nothing to do and no where to go. I didn't keep any lasting friendships, sure I have some people added on facebook but that's it... How do people keep friends and make lasting relationships? It's a mystery to me, so all my friends are in my computer and phone. It feels like a normal life full of friends isn't possible. Staying away from the internet means I'm forcing myself to be alone pretty much. I already feel lonely WITH the internet. Sigh, but I'm not particularly depressed or anything, I just need to do some stuff off the screen or not social media related in general (namely twitter.) I've been studying japanese and I think I'll focus on that a lot more and life care things. Twitter is fun but I'm addicted and it's stressful as hell with all the callouts, drama and discourse. My friends usually just make fun of it, but it's hard not to get caught up in the comments and qrts on things. Anyway, just rambling before dinner, I still need to make this a proper blog/post thingy...
11/7/2020 12:08 AM
Thinking about how much my online social circle has changed in recent years and how much more comfortable I am being me. Before I had a lot of friends who were super judgemental and critical of what you enjoyed and who you talked to, I always felt like I had to watch my back and double check everytime to make sure I was "good." You were never judged for the content of your character but everything around you. Eventually some random person who barely knew any of us made a very nasty post about me, and a lot of my friends threw me away for guilt of association. It's pretty surprising that people who knew me for years dropped me because of someone they barely knew. It was pretty devastating. However, my friends now are not like that at all, we all like similar things on a surface level, but all of us have some things the others don't like, or friends we don't get along with, etc. Despite this we all get along and aren't mean to each other, it makes me so happy to feel safe online everyday. We defend each other if anyone gets attacked, even if it's over something we might not like or would say ourselves, because we know deep down all of us have good intentions or are just having fun.
I'm just really happy I have such cool people in my life right now, I really love geniune otakus... I would never judge my friends over stupid shit just because it fits a stereotype. I have friends who are pretty much like normies besides being into anime, I have NEET friends, Hikkikomori friends, friends literally living in a basement full of waifu shrines. It doesn't make them any lesser of a person! A lot of people see someone who is unabashedly geniune and don't know how to react besides ridicule. Once you stop trying to appeal to everyone's good side, you are free. For awhile I forgot that, and it's okay to stay niche, I'm not a product and I don't need mass appeal.